Funny Quotes And One Liners
Funny Quotes And One Liners
The internet is full of quotes and one liners frasi divertenti. Funny quotes and one liners that make us laugh and humorous sayings to lighten our mood. Organized by theme, I’ve collected my favorite funny quotes and one liners as well as a few highlights from some of my favorite blog sites.
There’s nothing like a funny quote to get you through the day. Here are some of our favorites:
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why frasi divertenti some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Albert Einstein
“If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t understand something, I’d be rich!” – Anonymous
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Unknown
Jokes and One Liners
It’s always good to have a few jokes and one liners up your sleeve. Here are some of our favourites:
- What’s the best way to describe it when a woman says “She’s not into you?”
- She told you she wasn’t the type to watch pre-school shows.
- How do you know if a blonde has been sending text messages?
- You can see the lipstick on the screen.
Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
A: Because they make up everything!
Funny WhatsApp Status
If you’re looking for a laugh, then check out our collection of funny WhatsApp status updates. From witty one-liners to humorous observations, these status updates will definitely get a few laughs. So if you’re in need of a good chuckle, be sure to scroll through our list of funny statuses.
You know it’s a bad day when even Siri greets you with, “Hey, bitch.”
Is it just me or is “Facebook Down” the new “The Dog Ate My Homework”?
There’s nothing wrong with being a little over-dramatic. It’ll make your life way more interesting. Trust me.
I hate when I’m making dinner and realize frasi divertenti that I’m out of ketchup AND soy sauce. F*** ME!
If you love me, then like this status! Even if you don’t love me, like this status! Wait…WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! Don’t GO! D:<
Hilarious Clean Jokes and Memes
If you’re looking for a good laugh, check out our collection of clean jokes and memes. We’ve got something for everyone, whether you’re looking for a witty one-liner or a hilarious meme. So take a break from your busy day and enjoy a few laughs courtesy of us!
Q: What’s the best way to describe it when your partner agrees with everything you say?
A: We’re on the same wavelength.
Ridiculous but Funny One of The Line Sayings
Ridiculous but Funny One of The Line Sayings:
- Life is too short to waste time on things that don’t matter.
- You can’t control everything, so just let it go and enjoy the ride.
- Don’t take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway.
- Live each day like it’s your last, because one day it will be.
- Life is a journey, not a destination.
- It’s not about what you say, but how you say it.
- Actions speak louder than words.
- Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change… Life’s too short to be anything but happy!
Funny Food Quotes
Some of the funniest food quotes come from well-known comedians, actors, and writers.
“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” -W.C. Fields
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” -Dave Barry
“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” -J.R.R. Tolkien
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now frasi divertenti and then doesn’t hurt.” -Charles M. Schulz